The hubby and I made it through the week. Being anxious about conceiving and going through the process of buying a home at the same time is hard. The pressure definitely made doing the baby dance that much harder. It's a lot less easy to enjoy it when you know it has to get done. But we made it.
This morning started my first day of progesterone suppositories. My nurse warned me that it would leave me feeling wet and sticky. She wasn't kidding. It's like a constant pool. Hello granny-panties for the next couple weeks.
I think I've officially passed the GI problems with Metformin. Well, at least the normal ones. Most people report feeling crampy and having diarrhea. Not me. Opposite. I feel bloated and constipated. I'm guzzling water and taking a senna supplement, I just wanna be comfortable. And, the general queezy feeling is gone. Which means I've resorted to eating anything I want. Not good. I'm going to put on a bunch of weight if I keep it up. And not in the good, baby bump kind of way. Just in the, dang those monster cookies look good kind of way.
If.... When we get pregnant, it's going to be interesting dealing with getting larger, and heavier. Having battled my weight my whole life, I'm very sensitive about it now that I have it under control. I spent a week about a half pound under my goal weight and I still didn't feel good because I was pretty sure I had only lost muscle. Now, I'm 5lbs up. I feel mushy. Probably from the weekend of being trapped indoors and the recent meals out for Valentine's Day. I've got to whip it back into shape and eat healthily. For my body and for potential pregnancy.
Daily, hourly, by the minute, my prayer is that we conceived this week. Three eggs and three days of love making leaves us with a very good chance. Also, it's comforting to know that with the aid of my nurse and CNM, my hormones are where they need to be to support a pregnancy. I just pray that it happens.
My stress level has been better managed in the last few days too. I think it helps that I'm excited about the potential we have right now. I'm making it a point to exercise, but only for the recommended stress-relieving period of 40 minutes. And, I need to lift weights to keep up my strength. Long baths and reading good books help too. I've basically passed all the home-buying stress off to my husband. And, ignoring housework hasn't been that bad either. Though, just like my eating habits as of late, I should probably whip the apartment back into shape. Maybe that'll be my goal today. Healthy meals, exercise, and house cleaning. So much for fun Fridays!
Friday, February 15, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
The last several days have been a whirlwind. As the weekend approached, my husband and I started to make plans for our one weekend off together of the month. I work full time, he is a full time student, and we both have part time jobs that help us make ends meet. So this small grouping of days each month is sacred to us. We cherish every minute.
We were invited to spend a carefree weekend with some family, which sounded wonderful. But when easy going plans turned into a full-fledged family affair with lots of bodies and little space, we decided we needed to back out for the sake of our stress levels. In the end, the change of plans and our decision not to go caused more stress than going and hiding in the background would have. But, we held to our choice and stayed in our area and let the family gathering carry on without us.
The weekend started with a 7:30am ultrasound. Good news. Two follicles on my left side nearly ready for release. Good news considering there was some debate about whether or not my body was producing follicles at all just 5 weeks ago. Still we were sent home with a prescription for relaxation because they weren't quite fully developed and told to return at the same time on Monday morning.
We took our full dose of relaxation and spent the entire weekend doing whatever we wanted. Friday we saw a matinee, eating movie theater popcorn for our supper. Saturday we slept in a little and watched a movie with breakfast, then spent the afternoon shopping downtown. I took my hubby to a small restaurant famous for its beer and burgers. He treated me to an early Valentine's Day gift. The rest of the evening we spent watching one of our favorite television series on TV. Sunday after church and picking up supplies, we got snowed into our cozy apartment. We spent the entire day on the couch, except for when we got up to the kitchen to make cookies together. It was a wonderful weekend.
Monday morning brought it's own bit of panic. The enormous drifts of snow had shut the city down, and we were going to miss our early morning ultrasound. Since the process is so time sensitive, I started to worry that we would miss our opportunity for the month and we'd have to start again. But our infertility coordinator called and got us in as soon as the roads were open and an ultrasound tech had made it into the building.
Laying on my back waiting for the ultrasound to start, I was only hoping that at least one of the follicles had grown over the weekend. Instead, three follicles were present and all were above the necessary size requirement.
In our following appointment with the infertility coordinator, I was given my "trigger shot" and counseled on the possibility of conceiving triplets. TRIPLETS! Less than 4 weeks ago I was diagnosed with PCOS and now they were telling me I could possibly have triplets??
All my other blood work came back good and we were given the assignment to get it on! Sounds exciting right? Well, it's less exciting when you feel like you're completing a task. The pressure is a terrible mood killer. And somehow in the next few days we have to find a way to romance each other and keep our stress levels down, all while handling the normal duties of life, and fret over the possibility of triplets!
I am thrilled that treatment has worked just as it should. I'm also happy that the medicine has relieved some problems, even if it causes others. Ultimately, I know that if God allows us to conceive three babies instead of one, then He'll give us the support system to handle the journey. For now, we'll pray that God bless us with just one little bundle of joy, for the health and happiness of us all.... and if He blesses us with more, we'll praise Him for it and ask for His help along the way.
We were invited to spend a carefree weekend with some family, which sounded wonderful. But when easy going plans turned into a full-fledged family affair with lots of bodies and little space, we decided we needed to back out for the sake of our stress levels. In the end, the change of plans and our decision not to go caused more stress than going and hiding in the background would have. But, we held to our choice and stayed in our area and let the family gathering carry on without us.
The weekend started with a 7:30am ultrasound. Good news. Two follicles on my left side nearly ready for release. Good news considering there was some debate about whether or not my body was producing follicles at all just 5 weeks ago. Still we were sent home with a prescription for relaxation because they weren't quite fully developed and told to return at the same time on Monday morning.
We took our full dose of relaxation and spent the entire weekend doing whatever we wanted. Friday we saw a matinee, eating movie theater popcorn for our supper. Saturday we slept in a little and watched a movie with breakfast, then spent the afternoon shopping downtown. I took my hubby to a small restaurant famous for its beer and burgers. He treated me to an early Valentine's Day gift. The rest of the evening we spent watching one of our favorite television series on TV. Sunday after church and picking up supplies, we got snowed into our cozy apartment. We spent the entire day on the couch, except for when we got up to the kitchen to make cookies together. It was a wonderful weekend.
Monday morning brought it's own bit of panic. The enormous drifts of snow had shut the city down, and we were going to miss our early morning ultrasound. Since the process is so time sensitive, I started to worry that we would miss our opportunity for the month and we'd have to start again. But our infertility coordinator called and got us in as soon as the roads were open and an ultrasound tech had made it into the building.
Laying on my back waiting for the ultrasound to start, I was only hoping that at least one of the follicles had grown over the weekend. Instead, three follicles were present and all were above the necessary size requirement.
In our following appointment with the infertility coordinator, I was given my "trigger shot" and counseled on the possibility of conceiving triplets. TRIPLETS! Less than 4 weeks ago I was diagnosed with PCOS and now they were telling me I could possibly have triplets??
All my other blood work came back good and we were given the assignment to get it on! Sounds exciting right? Well, it's less exciting when you feel like you're completing a task. The pressure is a terrible mood killer. And somehow in the next few days we have to find a way to romance each other and keep our stress levels down, all while handling the normal duties of life, and fret over the possibility of triplets!
I am thrilled that treatment has worked just as it should. I'm also happy that the medicine has relieved some problems, even if it causes others. Ultimately, I know that if God allows us to conceive three babies instead of one, then He'll give us the support system to handle the journey. For now, we'll pray that God bless us with just one little bundle of joy, for the health and happiness of us all.... and if He blesses us with more, we'll praise Him for it and ask for His help along the way.
Friday, February 8, 2013
I think I'm learning to adjust to the change in diet and the medicine. I feel the best when my stomach is empty and I have had lots of water. But, I've figured out that eggs for breakfast and veggies only for lunch give me the most wiggle room for my evening meal. At least then I can tolerate a sweet potato or whole grain pasta without feeling totally sick.
There haven't been any real noticeable benefits to the Metformin. My hair is stilling falling out of my scalp, still growing on my face, and my acne hasn't gotten any better. I've lost about 4 lbs but at this point I think it's all muscle. I don't have the energy to work out at my normal pace or impact. I maybe lift weights twice a week, and only for 10-15 minutes. Plus I've been sweating thru my clothes at night. Gross. I hope that over time this drug will prove to be worth all the negative side effects.
The estrogen lowering drug they gave me at my appointment last Friday really screwed with my emotions. I was so weepy at the beginning of the week. I was a wreck for two days. I'm starting to feel better now, but gosh, I hope I don't have to go through it many more times.
We had another appointment today. Two follicles growing on the left side! They aren't quite big enough yet, but I go in again on Monday for another ultrasound and maybe a trigger shot to inspire ovulation. Thankfully we have the weekend off and can relax. I'm hoping that keeping my stress level down and resting a bunch will help my body do what it is supposed to do in the next couple days. The prospect of conceiving next week is both scary and exciting.
I realize as I sit here typing, that I'm being much less emotional than in my last few posts. Perhaps it's that I'm coming off of a rough week emotionally.
I'm trying to remember to pray about this process. I got a bit swept away in the waiting and forgot that I should be praying without ceasing about the situation. I've been so overwhelmed by stress, just trying to cope with all the emotions, that I forgot there is something I can do to hep. That is to pray.
Sometimes I have doubts that my prayers are important enough to God to answer. But just last week I was reminded He hears us and loves us when our friends baby was given a clean bill of health, again. He was displaying some signs of seizures and possible brain damage, but he's okay... just a little strange. :) But what baby isn't?
In addition to the stress of our fertility complications, we're also stressed about the slow-going deal on the house we're trying to buy. At first the selling bank was so eager to get things moving that the pushed our closing date up by 21 days. Now, we've been waiting to hear back from them about repair requests from our inspection for two weeks. It's a foreclosure, and I know those can take 3-4 months to negotiate, but freeze out in the last few days has been frustrating. I can understand why buyers sometimes back out of these deals. It's hard to know what you want when your pace gets slowed down and you lose momentum. I keep asking myself, "is this what we really want?" I don't know if I'm sure anymore. I guess we'll wait to hear back from them on the repair requests. My gut reaction to that communication should be a pretty good indicator if I'm still loving it or not.
There is just so much stress to handle this week. I need to stay focused on relaxing over the weekend and take on the day an hour at a time. No plans and no deadlines.
There haven't been any real noticeable benefits to the Metformin. My hair is stilling falling out of my scalp, still growing on my face, and my acne hasn't gotten any better. I've lost about 4 lbs but at this point I think it's all muscle. I don't have the energy to work out at my normal pace or impact. I maybe lift weights twice a week, and only for 10-15 minutes. Plus I've been sweating thru my clothes at night. Gross. I hope that over time this drug will prove to be worth all the negative side effects.
The estrogen lowering drug they gave me at my appointment last Friday really screwed with my emotions. I was so weepy at the beginning of the week. I was a wreck for two days. I'm starting to feel better now, but gosh, I hope I don't have to go through it many more times.
We had another appointment today. Two follicles growing on the left side! They aren't quite big enough yet, but I go in again on Monday for another ultrasound and maybe a trigger shot to inspire ovulation. Thankfully we have the weekend off and can relax. I'm hoping that keeping my stress level down and resting a bunch will help my body do what it is supposed to do in the next couple days. The prospect of conceiving next week is both scary and exciting.
I realize as I sit here typing, that I'm being much less emotional than in my last few posts. Perhaps it's that I'm coming off of a rough week emotionally.
I'm trying to remember to pray about this process. I got a bit swept away in the waiting and forgot that I should be praying without ceasing about the situation. I've been so overwhelmed by stress, just trying to cope with all the emotions, that I forgot there is something I can do to hep. That is to pray.
Sometimes I have doubts that my prayers are important enough to God to answer. But just last week I was reminded He hears us and loves us when our friends baby was given a clean bill of health, again. He was displaying some signs of seizures and possible brain damage, but he's okay... just a little strange. :) But what baby isn't?
In addition to the stress of our fertility complications, we're also stressed about the slow-going deal on the house we're trying to buy. At first the selling bank was so eager to get things moving that the pushed our closing date up by 21 days. Now, we've been waiting to hear back from them about repair requests from our inspection for two weeks. It's a foreclosure, and I know those can take 3-4 months to negotiate, but freeze out in the last few days has been frustrating. I can understand why buyers sometimes back out of these deals. It's hard to know what you want when your pace gets slowed down and you lose momentum. I keep asking myself, "is this what we really want?" I don't know if I'm sure anymore. I guess we'll wait to hear back from them on the repair requests. My gut reaction to that communication should be a pretty good indicator if I'm still loving it or not.
There is just so much stress to handle this week. I need to stay focused on relaxing over the weekend and take on the day an hour at a time. No plans and no deadlines.
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